He aha ka assertiveness maoli (+ 12 laws of assertiveness)

Ua manaʻo nui ʻia ʻo ka hoʻomau wale ka hiki ke ʻōlelo ʻaʻole. A ʻoiai ʻo ka hāʻawi ʻana iā ʻoe iho i ka pono a me ka manawa kūpono e hōʻole ai kekahi o kāna mau mea, ʻaʻole ʻo ia wale nō. ʻO ka Assertiveness kahi hōʻuluʻulu holoʻokoʻa o nā mākau interpersonal. ʻO ka mea mua, he hoʻonohonoho o nā kānāwai e ʻae iā ʻoe e lilo iā ʻoe iho, ʻo ia ke kumu o ka hilinaʻi kūlohelohe kūlohelohe a me ka hiki ke hoʻokō i kāu mau pahuhopu ola.

Ma keʻano laulā, ʻo ka assertiveness ka hiki ke hōʻike i nā manaʻo o kekahi (ma mua o ka ʻōlelo ʻana "ʻaʻole"), nā manaʻo, nā manaʻo, nā manaʻo, a me nā pono i ke ʻano ʻaʻole e hoʻololi i ka maikaʻi a me ka hanohano o kekahi. E heluhelu e pili ana i ka mea e wehewehe pono ai i ke kamaʻilio ʻana o ke kanaka kūpaʻa me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.

ʻO ka manaʻo paʻa, ʻo ia hoʻi ka hiki ke ʻae a hōʻike i ka hoʻohewa ʻana, loaʻa ka mahalo, ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana, a me ka hiki ke hoʻohanohano iā ʻoe iho a me kou mau akamai, a me nā mea ʻē aʻe. ʻO ka assertiveness ka mea maʻamau i nā poʻe me ka manaʻo kiʻekiʻe, nā poʻe ʻōpio i alakaʻi ʻia i ko lākou ola e ke kiʻi o lākou iho a me ka honua i kūpono i ka ʻoiaʻiʻo. Hoʻokumu ʻia lākou ma nā ʻoiaʻiʻo a me nā pahuhopu hiki ke loaʻa. ʻAe lākou iā lākou iho a me nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e hāʻule ma ke aʻo ʻana mai kā lākou mau hewa ma mua o ka hoʻohewa ʻana a me ka hoʻonāwaliwali iā lākou iho.

ʻOi aku ka hauʻoli o ka poʻe assertive iā lākou iho ma mua o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi, hōʻike i kahi mamao olakino, a me ke ʻano hoʻohaʻahaʻa. Ma muli o ko lākou kiʻekiʻe kiʻekiʻe, ʻoi aku ka paʻakikī o ka hōʻeha a hoʻonāwaliwali. He hoaaloha lākou, hāmama a hoihoi i ke ola, a i ka manawa like hiki iā lākou ke mālama i ko lākou pono a me nā mea o kā lākou poʻe aloha.

Ka nele o ka hoʻopaʻapaʻa

ʻO ka poʻe i loaʻa ʻole kēia ʻano, hāʻawi pinepine i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe a ola i kahi ola i koi ʻia ma luna o lākou. Hoʻopili maʻalahi lākou i nā ʻano noi āpau, a ʻoiai ʻaʻole lākou makemake i kēia i loko, hana lākou i ka "aloha" no ka manaʻo o ke kuleana a me ka hiki ʻole ke hōʻike i nā mea kūʻē. Ma kahi ʻano, lilo lākou i mau puppets i ka lima o ka ʻohana, nā hoaaloha, nā luna a me nā hoa hana, e hoʻokō i kā lākou pono, ʻaʻole i kā lākou ponoʻī, no laila ʻaʻohe manawa a me ka ikaika. ʻAʻole lākou i hoʻoholo a conformists. He mea maʻalahi ke hoʻohewa iā lākou. Hoʻohewa pinepine lākou iā lākou iho. ʻAʻole palekana lākou, ʻaʻole hoʻoholo, ʻaʻole ʻike i ko lākou pono a me nā waiwai.

Puna: pixabay.com

Hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo i ka hoʻomau

He akamai i loaʻa i ka nui ma muli o ka mahalo iā ia iho, ka ʻike i ko mākou pono a me ka ʻike i nā ʻenehana kūpono a me nā hoʻomaʻamaʻa e hiki ai, ma kekahi ʻaoʻao, e hoʻāla i kēlā ʻano manaʻo, a ma kekahi ʻaoʻao. e hoʻolako i kahi ala kamaʻilio e hiki ai iā mākou ke kūpaʻa a kūpono i ke kūlana.

Hiki iā ʻoe ke hoʻomohala i kēia mākaukau ma kāu iho. E loaʻa kahi ʻatikala e pili ana i nā ʻenehana hōʻoia ponoʻī i loko o kekahi mau lā. Hiki iā ʻoe ke lawe i ke kōkua o ke kauka a i ʻole ka mea aʻoaʻo āu e hoʻomohala ai i nā kumuwaiwai āu e pono ai a me nā mea i wehewehe ʻia ma luna.

kiaʻi iā ʻoe iho

I kēia manawa, i nā lā aʻe e hiki mai ana, e hoʻāʻo e noʻonoʻo hou i ke ʻano o kou ʻano ma nā kūlana kikoʻī, a e nānā i nā mea āu e ʻōlelo nei a ʻo wai nā mea āu e nele ai i kēia ʻano manaʻo. Hiki paha iā ʻoe ke ʻike i kahi ʻano, no ka laʻana, ʻaʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻōlelo ʻole ma ka hana a i ʻole ma ka home. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke kamaʻilio e pili ana i kāu mau pono a ʻae paha i ka hoʻomaikaʻi ʻana. ʻAʻole paha ʻoe e ʻae iā ʻoe iho e ʻōlelo i kou manaʻo, a i ʻole ʻoe e pane maikaʻi i ka hoʻohewa ʻana. A i ʻole ʻaʻole ʻoe e hāʻawi i nā kuleana ʻē aʻe e hōʻoiaʻiʻo. E nānā iā ʻoe iho. He mea waiwai a pono ka ʻike ʻano hana e hiki ai iā ʻoe ke hana. Me ka ʻike ʻole i kona mau hemahema, hiki ʻole ke hoʻololi.

12 KUMU WAIWAI

Loaʻa iā mākou ke kuleana e noi a koi aku e hoʻokō ʻia kā mākou mau pono ma ke ʻano koʻikoʻi, hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho, akā akahai a me ka ʻike ʻole, ma ke ola pilikino, a ma ka pilina, a ma ka hana. ʻAʻole like ka koi ʻana me ka hoʻoikaika ʻana a i ʻole ka hoʻopunipuni e loaʻa ai kā mākou makemake. He kuleana ko mākou e koi aku, akā hāʻawi mākou i ka mea ʻē aʻe i ke kuleana piha e hōʻole.

Loaʻa iā mākou ke kuleana e loaʻa i ko mākou manaʻo ponoʻī no kekahi pilikia. He kuleana ko mākou ʻaʻole ia. A ma luna o nā mea a pau, he kuleana ko mākou e haʻi aku iā lākou, e hana me ka mahalo i kekahi. Ma ka loaʻa ʻana o kēia kuleana, hāʻawi pū mākou i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe i ʻae ʻole me mākou.

He kuleana ko kēlā me kēia kanaka i kā lākou ʻōnaehana waiwai ponoʻī, a inā mākou e ʻae a ʻaʻole paha, mahalo mākou a ʻae iā lākou e loaʻa. Aia nō iā ia ke kuleana ʻaʻole e hoʻohalahala a mālama iā ia iho i kāna mea makemake ʻole e kaʻana like.

Loaʻa iā ʻoe ke kuleana e hana e like me kāu ʻōnaehana waiwai a me nā pahuhopu āu e makemake ai e hoʻokō. Loaʻa iā ʻoe ke kuleana e hoʻoholo i nā hoʻoholo āu e makemake ai, me ka ʻike ʻana ʻo ka hopena o kēia mau hana ʻo ia ke kuleana āu e lawe ai ma luna o kou poʻohiwi - ma ke ʻano he kanaka makua a makua. ʻAʻole ʻoe e hoʻohewa i kou makuahine, wahine, keiki a poʻe kālai'āina no kēia.

Noho mākou i loko o kahi honua piha i ka ʻike, ka ʻike a me nā mākau. ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e ʻike i kēia mau mea a pau. A i ʻole ʻaʻole maopopo iā ʻoe ka mea e ʻōlelo ʻia nei iā ʻoe, nā mea e hana nei a puni ʻoe, ma ka politika a i ʻole ka media. Aia iā ʻoe ke kuleana ʻaʻole e ʻai i kou mau manaʻo a pau. Aia iā ʻoe ke kuleana ʻaʻole e lilo i alpha a me omega. Ma ke ʻano he kanaka kūpaʻa, ʻike ʻoe i kēia, a hele mai me ka haʻahaʻa, ʻaʻole ka haʻaheo wahaheʻe.

ʻAʻole i hānau ʻia ʻo ia i ʻole e kuhihewa. He mau lā ʻino nō hoʻi ʻo Iesu, a ua hana hewa ʻo ia. No laila hiki nō iā ʻoe. E hele, e hoʻomau. Mai hoʻohālike ʻaʻole ʻoe e hana iā lākou. Mai ho'āʻo e hemolele a i ʻole ʻoe e kūleʻa. ʻIke ʻia kēia kanaka assertive a hāʻawi iā ia iho i ke kuleana. Hoʻoikaika ia i nā mea ʻē aʻe. ʻO kēia kahi e hānau ai ka mamao a me ka ʻae ʻana. A mai kēia hiki iā mākou ke aʻo i nā haʻawina a hoʻomohala hou aku. ʻO ka mea i nele i ka manaʻoʻiʻo e ho'āʻo e pale i ka hana hewa, a inā hāʻuleʻo ia, e manaʻoʻo ia i ka hewa a me ka nāwaliwali, e loaʻa iā ia nā koi kūponoʻole mai nā poʻe'ē aʻe e hikiʻole ke hoʻokōʻia.

Kakaʻikahi mākou e hāʻawi iā mākou iho i kēia kuleana. Inā hoʻomaka kekahi e hoʻokō i kekahi mea, huki koke ʻia ʻo ia i lalo, hoʻohewa ʻia, hoʻohewa ʻia. Ua hewa ʻo ia iho. Mai manao hewa. E hana i kāu mea makemake a lanakila. Hāʻawi iā ʻoe iho i kēlā pono a e hoʻokō i nā poʻe ʻē aʻe.

ʻAʻole pono ʻoe e like i kou ola a pau. Ke loli nei ke ola, ke loli nei ka manawa, ke ulu nei ka ʻenehana, ke komo nei ke kāne i ka honua, a ʻālohilohi ka Instagram me nā metamorphoses mai 100 kg o ka momona a 50 kg o ka ʻiʻo. ʻAʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke holo i ka hoʻololi a me ka hoʻomohala ʻana. No laila, inā ʻaʻole ʻoe i hāʻawi iā ʻoe iho i kēia kuleana a manaʻo e noho like nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, a laila e kū, e nānā i ke aniani a ʻōlelo: "Ua loli nā mea a pau, ʻo ʻoe hoʻi ʻelemakule (hiki iā ʻoe ke ʻoluʻolu), pēlā ʻoe," a laila e nīnau iā ʻoe iho, "He aha nā loli e hiki iaʻu ke hoʻomaka e hana i kēia manawa e hauʻoli nui ai me aʻu i ka makahiki aʻe?" A hana. E hana ana nō!

ʻOiai inā he ʻohana ʻoe he 12, he hui nui a he mea aloha ma ka ʻaoʻao, aia nō iā ʻoe ke kuleana pilikino. Hiki iā ʻoe ke hūnā i nā mea huna mai kāu wahine (ua hoʻohenehene wau me kēia mea aloha), ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e haʻi iā ia i nā mea a pau, ʻoiai ʻo ia nā hana kāne - akā ʻaʻole maopopo ʻo ia. E like me ʻoe he wahine, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e kamaʻilio a hana i nā mea āpau i kāu kāne, ua kuleana ʻoe i kāu ʻāpana ponoʻī.

Pehea ka maikaʻi o ka noho kaʻawale ʻana, me ka ʻole o kekahi, me kou mau manaʻo a me kou mau manaʻo, e hana ana i kāu makemake - hiamoe, heluhelu, noʻonoʻo, kākau, nānā TV a i ʻole hana ʻole a nānā i ka paia (inā pono ʻoe e hoʻomaha). A he kuleana kou, ʻoiai inā he miliona kāu mau kuleana ʻē aʻe. Loaʻa iā ʻoe ke kuleana e noho kaʻawale no 5 mau minuke, inā ʻaʻole ʻae ʻia nā mea hou aku. Aia iā ʻoe ke kuleana e hoʻolilo i hoʻokahi lā a i ʻole hoʻokahi pule wale nō inā pono ʻoe, a hiki nō. Hoʻomanaʻo ʻo ia he kuleana ko nā poʻe ʻē aʻe. Hāʻawi iā lākou, 5 mau minuke me ʻoe ʻaʻole manaʻo ua poina lākou iā ʻoe - pono lākou i ka manawa no lākou iho, a he kuleana ko lākou. ʻO kēia ke kānāwai o ka Haku.

Ua ʻike paha ʻoe i kēia. Ma kahi o ka ʻohana, manaʻo ʻia nā lālā ʻē aʻe e komo piha i ka hoʻoponopono ʻana i ka pilikia, e like me ke kāne a makuahine paha. Manaʻo lākou e hana ka mea ʻē aʻe i ka mea maikaʻi loa e hoʻoponopono i ko lākou pilikia, a inā ʻaʻole lākou makemake i kēlā, hoʻāʻo lākou e hoʻopunipuni a hewa. Eia nō naʻe, loaʻa iā ʻoe ke kuleana paʻa e hoʻoholo inā e kōkua ʻoe iā ʻoe a ʻaʻole paha, a pehea e komo ai i kēia. ʻOiai ʻaʻole pili ka pilikia i ke keiki e mālama ʻia, ʻo nā ʻohana ʻē aʻe, nā hoaaloha a i ʻole nā ​​hoa hana he mau mākua a hiki ke mālama i ko lākou mau pilikia. ʻAʻole kēia manaʻo ʻaʻole pono ʻoe e kōkua inā makemake ʻoe a pono. Kōkua me ka puʻuwai hāmama i ke aloha. Akā inā ʻaʻole ʻoe makemake, ʻaʻole pono ʻoe, a i ʻole hiki iā ʻoe ke hana e like me kou makemake. Aia iā ʻoe ke kuleana e kau i nā palena.

Loaʻa iā ʻoe ke kuleana e leʻaleʻa i nā kuleana ma luna, e hāʻawi ana i nā kuleana like i kēlā me kēia me ka ʻole (koe wale ka iʻa, no ka mea, ʻaʻohe o lākou kuleana koho). Mahalo i kēia, e hoʻonui ʻoe i kou manaʻo ponoʻī, e lilo i mea hilinaʻi iā ʻoe iho, etc.

E kali i kekahi minuke, ua manaʻo ʻia he 12 mau kānāwai?! Ua hoʻololi au i koʻu manaʻo. He kuleana ko'u. Loaʻa i nā kānaka a pau. Hoʻoulu, hoʻololi, aʻo a hiki ke ʻike i nā mea like i ka lā ʻapōpō. A i ʻole he manaʻo hou. E ʻimi i ka mea āu i ʻike ʻole ai ma mua. He mea maʻamau. A he mea maʻamau ke hoʻololi i kou manaʻo i kekahi manawa. ʻO ka poʻe naʻaupō a me nā peacock haʻaheo ʻaʻole e hoʻololi i ko lākou manaʻo, akā ʻaʻole lākou e ulu, no ka mea ʻaʻole lākou makemake e ʻike i nā loli a me nā manawa kūpono. Mai paʻa i nā ʻoiaʻiʻo kahiko a me nā kuʻina, mai hoʻomau i ka conservative. E neʻe me nā manawa a ʻae iā ʻoe iho e hoʻololi i kou manaʻo a me nā waiwai.

ʻO Emar